You’re engaged, now what?The First Nine Steps in Wedding Planning

Posted on Sep 30, 2022.

Congratulations on your engagement! As the excitement from the engagement begins to settle, the time comes to actually start thinking about your wedding plans. Give yourself some time to come to grips what comes ahead. Some have dreamt of the perfect wedding since childhood and already have a lot of details planned out. Others may have no idea how to get started, or plan on the fly. Either way, it’s natural and normal to suddenly feel overwhelmed by the mountain of details that come with wedding planning. And you are not alone in that! But before you stress out too much, just remember that with just a few to-dos you’re sure to start planning on the right foot.

Steps in Wedding Planning

• Step One: Money Talks

Like it or not, your wedding plans depend on the amount of money you’re willing and able to spend. If you haven’t already sat with your partner and had this discussion, the time is now. This conversation can be both difficult and enlightening as you discover each others priorities for the big day, and perhaps their overall approach to money and saving. It is a necessary conversation regarding finances and is the only way to get some clarity on your wedding budget. This is also the time to approach anyone (parents, grandparents, etc) who may want to help contribute to your big day. Once you have a set budget you can start making decisions regarding all the other planning components.

It’s important to remember to stay within your means, because there’s never any telling how much or how many contributions or monetary gifts you’ll receive. Also remember that whoever contributes to your wedding financially will gain leverage in putting forth their opinions on the big day. Premade wedding spreadsheets offer Budget Trackers that often include items you may not have even thought about, but adds up quickly (wedding night attire, marriage liscense, event insurance, rings, etc).

• Step Two: Determine Your Guest List

After determining budget, I recommend putting together your ultimate guest list and start narrowing it down. Having an estimate of budget and guests attending will help narrow things down for when you start looking for a venue as you'll know an approximate count of how many people you need to host and what you can afford.

It's natural to want to invite everyone to celebrate in your special day, but it's vital to make your guestlist feasible for your budget. Start by making your "must invite" list, which includes close family and friends to give you a base numer. Then expand it to include more distant relatives and friends who would likely expect an invitation (never feel the need to invite someone simply because they expect an invite though!). Finally if you still have a reasonable number of guests you can begin adding in other friends and family.

It's important you decide upon certain guidelines and stick to them. For example many weddings now only extend plus ones to their bridal party, people who have been in a relationship for over a year, and maybe those who know no one there. Similarly, decide if you're interested in having children attend or if you would rather it be an adults only affair. While kids can be adorable all dressed up in photos, they can also quickly add a large cost to your wedding if everyone's children are invited.

Again, those premade spreadsheets include guestlists. I advise creating your seating chart as you narrow down your guest list, as it will help you see how people will fit and show any outliers.

• Step Three: Collect Your Guest's Contact Information

For contact information I cannot recommend Postable high enough. You create a form customized to aquire all the information you need (full name, address, email address, phone number, etc). It even gives you the option of asking for a partners name, which is extremely handy as then if when you request the information about a year prior to the wedding by the time rolls around to send out invites you'll be able to see which people have been in a relationship for over a year.